Video DescriptionFor those of you who think's the kitten is stuck it might do your heart some good to see my other vid of him GETTING OUT. It's just a simple thin cardboard box. So thin that they eventually rip it apart. (look at my other vid.) The kittens want to get in because they wanted to play with the tissue inside.... very expensive lab equipment, I wouldn't put them in there on purpose.
|
Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts
Kitten and his box
Now This is A Cat Story
Imagine the scene ... some of us have been there but not quite ...
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. They put the cat out into the yard but it ran back into the house. They didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tried to eat the bird.
The wife got into the taxi while the husband went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife didn't want the driver to know the house would be empty for the night.
She explained to the taxi driver that her husband would be out soon.
"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he said as they drove away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not shit in the roses!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.
The train was quite crowded ...
The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired. "She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! This American should
be put in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up: "Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.
THE RABBIT
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of her car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," He explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says..
"Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."
IT Problems
---------- Original message ----------
From: John Smith <johnsmith@myorganisation.co.uk>
Date: Jul 28, 2007 11:45 AM
Subject: Printer Problem
To: IT Hinder Desk <it_hinderdesk@myorganisation.co.uk>
Dear IT Department
My Printer does not work any longer
---------------------------------------
---------- Original message ----------
From: IT Hinder Desk <it_hinderdesk@myorganisation.co.uk>
Date: Jul 28, 2007 13:46 PM
Subject: Printer Problem
To: John Smith <johnsmith@myorganisation.co.uk>
What error message did you get?
---------------------------------------
---------- Original message ----------
From: John Smith <johnsmith@myorganisation.co.uk>
Date: Jul 28, 2007 13:47 PM
Subject: Printer Problem
To: IT Hinder Desk <it_hinderdesk@myorganisation.co.uk>
No error message, my mouse is stuck
---------------------------------------
---------- Original message ----------
From: IT Hinder Desk <it_hinderdesk@myorganisation.co.uk>
Date: Jul 28, 2007 14:48 PM
Subject: Printer Problem
To: John Smith <johnsmith@myorganisation.co.uk>
That does not have anything to do with the printer!
---------------------------------------
---------- Original message ----------
From: John Smith <johnsmith@myorganisation.co.uk>
Date: Jul 28, 2007 14:49 PM
Subject: Printer Problem
To: IT Hinder Desk <it_hinderdesk@myorganisation.co.uk>
Just a moment, let me take a photo
---------------------------------------
Batty
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night; face all covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said tiredly, and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood.
"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES !!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good !" said the first bat, "Because I f....ing didn't!
Cue Balls
A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy. "He eats everything in sight. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it in his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry in his butt, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
