Wrong email??

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before.

Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Friday, and his wife was flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, and he decided to send an email to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her E-mail address, and without noticing his error, sent the email to the wrong address.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston. A widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her E-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and then glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:

----------------------------------------------------------------

To: My Loving Wife
Date: Friday, October 13, 2005
Subject: I have arrived!

-------------------------------------

Dearest Love:

I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send E-mail to your loved ones. I have just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then.

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

PS . It sure is hot down here!

The Pigs Have It. Hmmmmmm

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure re when it pumps out to the
body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves t o
death. (Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head of f.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm.)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these
crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to,
maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone !

(and God love that pig!)

Weird or what

If someone knows how this works I would be interested to know.

http://www.milaadesign.com/wizardy.html

Things that make you say 'OH MY GOD!'

Proof the Irish discovered Africa

Great Optical Illusions

How quickly years pass

A Senior Moment

Thank You for All Your Emails Throughout the Year

To all my Friends,

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year ...

I must send my thanks to all those who sent me the email about rat crap being found in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now scrub the hell out of the top top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl named Penny Brown, who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. Even though I no longer have any money, it will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

The senior bank clerk in Nigeria has assured me that he will split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died interstate.

I no longer have to worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. -- Thank God.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

After all those years of diligently kneeling and say my prayers, I have finally learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mails to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a body guard along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number that causes me to get a phone bill with enormous charges for calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found under the car because there's probably a sex molester waiting underneath who will grab my leg and molest me.

If I could offer some advice for all the words of wisdom I have received from you. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's gay beautician.

And, by the way ... a South American scientist, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late and don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

Sincerely,

Your Friend

Watch Hotel Expose

Booked your holiday yet then?????



Video:
Expose from Atlanta local station.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1329217643/bctid1329232712

No Nativity Scene at Congress this year!

There will be no Nativity Scene in the United State Congress, this year!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's Capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

PC Christmas Greeting

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

THOUGHTS of REMEMBRANCE DAY

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....

...to listen to his son whine about being bored.

...to keep a straightface when people complain about potholes.

...to be tolerant of people who complain about the hassle of getting ready for work.


When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....

...to be understanding when someone complains about a bad night's sleep.

....to be silent when people pray to God for a new car.

...to control his frustration when his wife tells him he needs to drive more carefully.

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard ....

...to be grateful that he fights for freedom of speech.

...to be compassionate when someone complains about the quality of airport service.
When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....

...to keep from smiling when anxious parents say they're afraid to send their kids off to summer camp.

...to keep from ridiculing someone who complains about what to wear in hot weather.

When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....

...to control his frustration when a colleague gripes about his coffee being cold.

...to remain calm when his daughter complains about having to walk the dog.


When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard....

...to be civil to people who complain their jobs are to hard.

...to just walk away when someone says they only get three weeks of vacation a year.

...to be happy for a friend's new hot tub.


When a soldi er comes home, he finds it hard....

...to be forgiving when someone says how hard it is to have a new baby in the house.

....not to punch a wall when someone s ays we should pull out immediately. One thing every soldier knows...

The only thing harder than being a Soldier...

... is loving one.

A gentle reminder to keep your life in perspective. Remember those who have given their lives and when you meet one of our returning soldiers, remember what they have been through for you. Show them compassion and tolerance.

"Lord, grant those who have given their lives for us a place by your side. For those in harms way hold them in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need."

"Amen."

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